Review of Pet Sematary: Bloodlines

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Pet Sematary: Bloodlines is not a remake, but a prequel, going back in time to when Jud Crandall--the old man from the first movie, excellently played by Fred Gwynne of Herman Munster fame--was a young man, and the wide-awake night terror happened to him.

The film is an a 2023 American supernatural horror movie directed by Lindsey Anderson Beer and written by Beer and Jeff Buhler (Buhler? Buhler?). Set in 1969, it happens fifty years before the original movie based on the excellent Stephen King novel, Pet Sematary.

A youthful Jud Crandall (Jackson White) endeavors to escape his boring home town of Ludlow, Maine--the fictional town from the book--with his lovely, blond girlfriend, Norma (Natalie Alyn Lind), taking off in his car to join the Peace Corps. 

But the town won't let him go. 

A huge black bird crashes into the windshield, and they find a dog in front of the car looking mangy and diseased that belongs to local Bill Baterman (David Duchovny of The X Files fame) and find that his son, Timmy (Jack Mulhern), has returned from the war, but doesn't act ... right. What they don't realize is that Timmy came back dead and his dad buried him in the Mi'kmaq burial ground beyond the Pet Sematary. Consequently, he came back ... wrong. Timmy raptly watches said dog attack Norma's arm, and waits before firing a shot in the air which scares the pet off. You see, the dog's been buried there, too. 

It's not long before Timmy wreaks havoc on the town, killing some and making another like him. The members of the predominant families call a meeting and, since they know the evil history of the town, realize they have to put an end to Timmy. 

My favorite part is when the founders of the town discover the Mi'kmaq village, which is overrun with zombies who'd been buried in the evil graveyard, feasting on corpses, and are told to "Aim for the eyes," as zombies must be killed by a shot to the head.

I had high hopes for this one, but instead of just showing up at the Baterman's and burning down the house with Timmy in it, like the clip in Pet Sematary, it goes too far with everyone escaping from the burning house--chasing a seemingly unkillable Timmy--and Bill Baterman getting out with them, then traveling through an underground tunnel and into a creek for more unplotly hijinks.

But, by all means, watch it and decide for yourself! 

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Review of Immaculate With Sydney Sweeney

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OK, so I had to rent this one that's still in theaters because it's so ironic to have Sydney Sweeney play a nun. She was also one of the producers, whatever that means. So here we go! 

Immaculate, psychological horror, is a 2024 film written by Andrew Lobel and directed by Michael Mohan. In the intro, Sister Mary (Simona Tabasco) steals Mother Superior's keys and tries to escape. Four hooded and disguised figures make short work of that. She ends up buried alive. 

Along comes American novice Sister Cecelia (Sydney Sweeney), who was trapped under ice at a young age and died for seven minutes, only to be revived, in her mind, for a reason--a destiny. She devotes her life to God. 

Being special not lost to her watchers, she gets an invitation from Father Sal Tedeschi (Alvaro Morte) to join a convent in Italy, but her dream life of being a nun soon becomes a wide-awake night terror, for Tedeschi is a mad geneticist, and he's chosen her for a baleful, sickening reason. 

I feel that Sydney pulled it off, actually convinced me she was an innocent nun, her acting prowess flawless. The movie is gory as hell, which is supposed to be a last resort, and there are plenty of booby shots--I mean, it's Sydney Sweeney--but, overall, I thought it was an interesting, entertaining film; it didn't blow me away, however.

Check it out for yourself if you haven't already. It's been in theaters since March. And let me know your thoughts in the comments. Enjoy!

District 9: Movie Review

 

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District 9 was written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell, directed by Neill Blomkamp, produced by Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham, and stars Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, and David James. It's based on the short film, Alive in Joburg. It's a partially-presented found-footage film.

In 1982, a huge UFO invades air space and hovers over the South-African city of Johannesburg. When nothing happens, an investigation team flys up and cuts open the ship and finds over a million malnourished bug-like aliens inside. In turn, the South-African government relocates them to a camp called District 9, where the environs are squalid at best. It becomes a slum, and the aliens end up being called prawns, a derogatory term. 

No love lost between the prawns and the locals, the government hires Multinational United (MNU), who relocates them to a camp outside the city. Piet Smit, a MNU exec,' appoints his son-in-law, Wikus van de Merwe--an MNU employee--to serve the aliens eviction notices, and the shit hits the fan, the prawns attacking with brute force and alien technology. In the process, Wikus find a hidden container with unearthly fuel that sprays his face and makes his arm alien and insect-like. Now MNU can use him to fire the alien weapons that won't let humans operate them.

All hell on earth breaks loose.

It's important to note that this film was based on the real-life events of Cape Town's District 6, during the apartheid era.

You don't want to miss this gem! Enjoy!

Night Swim Movie Review

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Who knew someone would write a horror movie of a similar plot to "Still Life" by Iron Maiden, the creepiest song ever?

Writer-director Bryce McGuire penned this gem, which started as a short film, about a haunted pool, starring Wyatt Russell and Carrie Condon.

In '92, young girl Rebecca Summers goes out to the pool at night to retrieve her terminally-ill brother's toy boat, only to be dragged underwater and drowned. We find out later her brother miraculously recovered.

In the present, the Waller family--Ray, Eve, and children Izzy and Elliot--move into the Summers's house. It's a fixer-upper, but there's a pool. Ray is a former major-league third basemen who's been sidelined by M.S. But the more he swims in the water, which is mixed with an underground spring that's been there since time immemorial and comes in through the drain, he finds he's healing. You know the 411: first it does something for you, then all you want to do is swim in the pool. 

There's only one catch: to help one family member, it requires a human sacrifice of another family member, a price only twisted families will pay.

And the pool is filled with the ghosts of the many families that have lived there.

Must-see TV! It's worth the $20 rental fee. 

Enjoy if you haven't seen it already!

Talk to Me: Horror Movie Review

 

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If I could've given this one six hatchets, I would've. Everything was perfect in this film: the plot, the pacing, the ending. It's rare to find horror flawlessness. This Aussie gem stars Sophie Wilde, Alexandra Jensen, Mirada Otto, and Zoe Terakes.

In this creeper, teens don't need weed and booze anymore. They use what's either the severed-and-embalmed hand of a medium or a Satanist. Neither is fully defined.

At a party in Adelaide, Cole is looking for his brother, Duckett, two cool-looking longhairs. When he finds him, he stabs Cole, then fatally stabs himself in the head. Duckett had been playing that nasty party game.

Mia, 17, misses her mother heart wrenchingly, who died of an accidental sleeping-pill overdose. Mia, her bestie, Jade, and her little brother, Riley, sneak out to a party--of which they know full well what kind of party it is, as they've been checking out cell-phone videos of possessed teens playing a conjuring game that they all think is fun (?????). At the gathering, the teens take turns grabbing the hand and saying "Talk to Me," which makes them see the ghost. Then they say "I let you in," which makes them briefly possessed, until the timer goes off and another teen pulls them away from the hand. But when Mia's taken over, she tells Riley creepily that the spirits want him bad.

Riley's too young to play, as he had to blackmail the girls to bring him along, but when Jade briefly exits the room, the other teens nastily let him. Of course, he gets possessed, but to the nth power, and he bashes his head onto the table so vehemently he ends up heavily-injured and in the hospital. 

Seeking help from Cole is fruitless. He doesn't want anything to do with it, too traumatized to bother.

Mia has long-term effects and starts seeing her mother everywhere. Then a ghost of a gnarly old lady shows her that a huge mob of spirits are all over Riley, torturing the crap out of him in the other realm. When trying to aid him, this time the ghosts make him bash the back of his head into shower tiles, injuring him even worse.

 Jade and her mother find out Mia has (accidentally) stabbed her father to death (as she was dealing with these spirits and was tricked), and strive to keep her out of Riley's room, for she's dangerous. Mia won't heed and sets out with the ghosts to free Riley by any means necessary. But is that what the spirits really want?

I was riveted from start-to-finish by this prize. If you haven't seen it, it's definitely a must-see!

The Exorcist: Believer Review

 

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The Exorcist franchise must be pulling a Halloween with late sequels, as this incarnation has promised a trilogy. Unlike the Halloween latebe's, these are worthy. So far.

I'm this installment, photographer Victor Fielding's pregnant wife, Sorenne, gets caught in an earthquake and falls injured in Haiti. The doctor tells Vic he can only save one of them. 

Thirteen years later, in Georgia, we find Vic living with his young daughter, Angela, about middle-school age, and we assume he chose the baby, though the obvious choice was his wife. Think about it: the child dies and goes straight to heaven, not having to worry about going to hell for being human. 

But there lurks a void. Wanting to know her mother so much, the sister heads out to the woods with her white bestie, Catherine, who proposes they try to contact her dead mother by lighting a candle and conjuring her.

They go missing for three days.

When found, the children swear it was only three hours, and are tandemly possessed by the demon Pazuzu, the one who really answered them. 

The church doesn't approve the exorcism, so the community takes up the charge, including Chris McNeil from The Exorcist, reprising Ellen Burstyn's role. Terrifying, gory attacks follow, and it's revealed by Pazuzu that Vic indeed chose his wife to live, but she died, and the doc cut the baby out of her. Then, Pazuzu--the demon from the first Exorcist film, though he's never mentioned--reveals that only one of the children will survive the exorcism, and they must choose.

The shocks were creepily done, dirty and nasty with no disappointments. Thus I look highly on this film, but of course it's not as good as The Exorcist or The Exorcist III, maybe as good as Exorcist II: The Heretic. Linda Blair performs a cameo as Regan, who was estranged from her mother after the latter wrote a book about the exorcism.

If you haven't checked it out, it's a must-see!

Best Metal and Horror of 2023

I always have a blast doing this, letting you know what I thought were the best albums and horror of the year, so let's go! 

Best Horror Film: M3GAN

Best Horror Novel: Holly by Stephen King

Best Metal albums of the Year (in order):

1. As Gomorrah Burns - Cryptopsy

2. Age of the Offended - Cadaver

3. Make Them Beg for Death - Dying Fetus

4. Momento Mori - Marduk

5. Chaos Horrific - Cannibal Corpse

Honorable Mentions: Last of a Kind - Panzerchrist, Beyond the Dead - Exhumed 

What are yours?