Longlegs Movie Review

 

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I liked this one, as I do all of writer/director Osgood Perkin's films (AKA The Blackcoat's Daughter, I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House), son of Anthony Perkins of Psycho. His brother Elvis Perkins performs the soundtracks. As with every movie of his, it didn't blow me away, but it didn't suck. He IS one of my favorite writer/directors, however, behind my favorite, Ari Aster (AKA Hereditary, Midsommar).

FBI agent Lee Harker (Maika Monroe) is charged with investigating occult crimes in 1990's Oregon, where the father of every family suddenly goes berserk and kills said family in every case. Plus, she spots a creepy man in the distance as she investigates: someone is orchestrating these murders.

Eventually, thanks to a little girl (a much younger Lee Harker with her Polaroid camera) who heard strange sounds and came outside and to find a crazy clown character (Nicolas Cage), Tiny Timlike, who tells her and her mother that he serves the man downstairs. "Where?" her mom asks, to which the insane man replies, "Everywhere!" On a visit to the mother's house as an adult, Lee finds the snapshot, and the man is captured and slammed into the hoosegow, but is highly unfazed. As if someone will make everything all right. 

I'm probably the last one to have seen this, but if haven't, check it out. You won't regret it. (*Blows you an eerie kiss sound like in the movie.)

Review of Post Mortem Movie

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Post Mortem is a 2020 horror movie directed by Péter Bergendy, written by Péter Bergendy, Gábor Hellebrandt, and Piros Zánkay, and starring Viktor Klem and Fruzsina Hais. It's about a photographer of the dead (Klem) during the Spanish Flu in 1918 and the ghosts that terrorize a community because there're "too many bodies to bury."

Where to begin? I was both amused and confused by this ambitious plot. I didn't find it believable at all. I personally feel they could've interred all the bodies if they would've worked their asses off. And that didn't happen, ghosts throwing a whole village around back then. Too, why's the heroine a ten-year-old girl (Hais)? That was weird. Maybe hang out with people your own age?

I won't be cruel and give it one star. There were some creepy shots of the dead, especially the woman burning in the fireplace, but other than that, it was a real letdown. 

Of course, that's my opinion, and maybe you'll like it. Check it out and enjoy, hopefully. 

- A.R. Braun

Movie Review of Don't Let Her In

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2021's Don't Let Her In is the newest film from Full Moon and writer/director Ted Nicolaou, the tag team that gave us TerrorVision and Puppetmaster vs. Demonic Toys, plus cinematographer Howard Wexler, who gifted us Blade the Iron Cross. Richard Bland (Re-Animator) did the score.

In this horror-erotica feature, simply-pretty plain-Jane blonde Amber (Kelly Curran) and her soon-to-be rock star boyfriend, Ben (Cole Pendery) decide to rent out a room in their artists' loft to bring in some extra money. Along comes a vivacious woman in black, Serena (Lorin Doctor), who oozes sexuality. She makes occult bowls she sells for a living ... and Amber finds one in her underwear drawer. 

Serena makes quick work of their faithful relationship, seducing Ben into the best sex he's ever had right next to Amber as she sleeps, then morphing into a demon face at the climax, then waiting for Ben to travel on tour, for he's on his way to rock stardom because of her spells. She also makes Amber green shakes Minnie Castavetly. Once Ben's gone, here comes the brief, cheap thrill of a lesbian encounter that gives Amber the best orgasm she's ever had, then Serena turns demon-faced at the end, which, ironically, doesn't panic the couple. 

It's not long before Serena figures out Amber's pregnant--by Ben, not Serena--and Amber soon finds out Serena's up to no good, for she's bellowing satanic chants in her room. In truth, she wants to hurt the baby.

A mysterious long-haired dude in black shows up named Elias (Austin James Parker) outside the loft, demanding something be returned to him. He just happens to be Serena's ex-boyfriend, and he wants that demon sculpture Serena's got, which is why she's possessed.

I was sure this film was going to be about a succubus, and the watered-down softcore porn and the briefness of the movie turned me off. It didn't suck, but it didn't blow me away, either. I felt the sex scenes could've been longer and more hardcore (it's not a porno), and it should've been a two-hour film ... about a succubus. 

But that's just me. Maybe others will like it, so it's with a look. Enjoy!

My new novel, Book of Sprites, is live!

 

This sequel to Book of Shadows is my longest book at over 500 pages and is the most fun book in the Book of Shadows series. You won't believe what happens to Chady, and Kaiti's ghost and Lily the ghost cat haunt the new renter of Alex's old apartment, Chris, and his daughter, Polly. Don't read it alone and in the dark!

Here's the link: Amazon.com: Book of Sprites eBook : Braun, A. R.: Kindle Store Enjoy! 

Movie Review of Abigail

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Abigail, a 2024 horror comedy (although I didn't get the comedic edge), was written by Stephen Shields and Gary Busick and directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett. The plot follows a team of kidnappers who take the daughter of a powerful underworld figure, demanding a random of $50,000, unaware that they've been led to an isolated mansion only to be victims of a vampire.

Abigail (Alisha Weir), a little-girl ballerina, takes them out one-by-one, the first victim Mr. Cool Dean (Angus Cloud), who's beheaded and drained of blood. Charged to watch her is the vivacious Joey, played by Melissa Berrera whom I recognized from the Starz show Vida. She made it hard to concentrate on the film because she's got a stunning set of busoms--sorry. I also recognized Peter (Kevin Durand) from The Strain.

Alliances are made, certain people becoming victims of vampirism either willingly or unwilling, and the bloody gore fest leads you to wonder if any of them will survive the night. 

Most people have probably seen this one already. If not, enjoy!

Late Night With the Devil Movie Review

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Late Night With the Devil is a found-footage and documentary-style 2023 horror film written, directed and edited by Colin and Cameron Cairnes, starring David Dastmalchian, Laura Gordon, Ian Bliss, and Fayssal Bachi. Desperate for better ratings in the 1970's compared to Johnny Carson--whom I watched religiously as a kid--a late-night TV host of a program called Night Owls, who worships at the Grove when he's off work, unleashes hell on earth into the studio and into the living rooms of the viewers. 

On Halloween night, host Jack Delroy (Dastmalchian), after losing his wife to cancer, has stacked the evening with creepy guests, including a medium, a skeptic, and a 13-year-old possessed girl named Lilly (Bachi) who was the only escapee from a house of Anton Levay-style Satanists after a fire. I found Lilly fascinating the way she stared at me through the camera, as if in the mind of the viewer. Also clever was the first movie about elite, demonic worshippers at the Grove. In fact, when Jack talks a parapsychologist into bringing out Lilly's demon, the devil says he knows Jack from worshipping among the trees. 

Jack's worst fears come true when pure evil is unleashed in the studio and on his life, leaving him without hope and in big trouble, big trouble!

Enjoy if you haven't seen it yet. \m/ \m/

Review of Bodies Bodies Bodies

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Bodies Bodies Bodies, a 2022 comedy-horror film, was loaded with potential, but dropped the ball, IMHO. It was directed by Halina Reijn and written by Sarah DeLappe, based on a story by Kristen Roupenian.

Seven young people gather for a Hurricane party, boozing and doing drugs. When douchebag Dave (Pete Davidson) gets killed, the six assume a murderer is lurking about, and they commence to kill each other out of panic. After the murder, blond lesbian Bee (Maria Bakalova) doesn't see a shadow figure lurking behind her. I wanted the figure to be a werewolf or murdering ghost, but they didn't do anything with it, instead opting to do a slasher film, which, for the most part, I don't think has much of a plot. 

The twist ending isn't unclever, but it didn't blow me away. 

Check it out, and let me know what you think.